All about me

As I said before, I have been through a lot. More than some and less than others, but I work everyday at not letting my past effect my future.

When I was around 9, my mother was Diagnosed with RSD, and I found myself giving up in school. Being a single parent, my mother was the only parent able to take interest in my school work. She met my step father a year later and we moved to Fishers. I spent the first few years coasting through school, doing no more than I had to in order to get the grade. While living in Fishers, a few other personal things happened and I found myself clinging to a guy 6 years older than me for support (we will call him Dave for these purposes). I was in a very dark place when we met and I had been manipulated into thinking that he was the only one who understood me and that I could not handle things without him. My sophomore year in high school, I called in to my school pretending to be my mother to say that Tiffanie (I), would not be into school that day due to illness. In reality, Dave and I had gotten into a fight and he twisted things to seem like it was my fault, that I was the one to blame for hurting him when this was not the case. He said that in any serious relationship there are four main components: Emotional, Spiritual, Mental, and Physical. Not feeling as if physical was important at the time, I told him he was wrong. He turned it around to mean that I was not attracted to him nor did I care about him the way he thought and that we should not be together. Feeling as dependent as I was on him, I begged him not to call it off. He said I had hurt him and asked what I was going to do for him. I suggested hanging out over the weekend and he said "His heart could not handle the pain of waiting that long for me to make it up to him." Did I mention he was working toward a degree in psychology? At the time, I thought It must be true. I mean, he was 6 years older and knew more than I did. So, I skipped school, borrowed my friends car and drove to bloomington on a learners permit. I was so lost in life that he was able to manipulate someone who cried when she was in trouble and was on a first name basis with everyone the the school office only because she liked to say hi and make friends. Long story short, the school called my mother to confirm and when she found out, my family spent the whole day trying to track me down. I of course did not know until toward the end of my visit when my grandmother called Dave's cell phone and told him that I needed to come home. Dave came over a few days later to confront my parents and lets just say it ended better than you would think. My mother did threaten to castrate him at one point if he ever contacted me again, but he left with his life, apendages, and a greater determination to be with me.

We were off and on for the next two years. Meaning... If I was not with him, he would date, but the moment I did he always came back and convinced me that I should be with him. This continued until I met my current fiance. I have been with my fiance since the January before prom my senior year in high school. With him I have come to realize that my ideals are not wrong. They were just not right for dave. Although I continued to talk to dave up until about a year ago, I did not allow him to use the same tatics he used to. We talked less and less beause he claimed he could not be "himself" around me. I reminded him that if he was the type of person who continues to try and manipulate a person, then I would not allow him to be around me at all.

I am in a much better place today then I was 4 years ago. I have two younger siblings that are so full of life that it makes it hard not to smile, an amazing fiance that encourages me to be myself and try new things, and I am working toward being an elementary school teacher which has always been my passion.